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Woody Offers Buzz a Piece of Steak is a Youtube Poop by Karson.

TranscriptEdit

[the Pixar logo when Luxo hops over and jumps on the letter I while freezing, then baby Molly takes Mr. Potato Head with spitting with blood out then playing with Mr. Potato Head with blood out, then the parts come out with blood out, then the title card goes with fire and blood]
Rex: Shouldn't they be there by now? What's taking them so long?
Woody: Hey, these guys are professionals. They're the best. Come on! They're not lying down on the job.
[they hear the people laughing, then the music plays in Star Wars with the title card of "Woody Gets Wood Tonight @ 8", then stopping]
Woody: Hey, who moved my doodle pad way over here?
[Rex drops down]
Man: Yahtzee!
Rex: Were you scared? Tell me honestly.
[Bo pulls toward Woody, causing an explosion]
Woody: Oh, hi, Bo. Hi.
Bo: I wanted to thank you, Woody, for saving my fucking cock.
Woody: Oh, hey, it was, uh, nothin'.
Bo: What do you say I get someone else? [Bo leaves with "lol bye"]
Buzz: Buzz Lightyear to Star Command. Come in, Star Command.
Man: Did you get a new dress?
Buzz: Star Command, come in. Do you read me?
Man: I cannot tell you. It's confidential. Anyway how is your sex life?
Buzz: Why don't they answer? My shit!
Woody: Did I frighten you? Didn't mean to.
[buzzing]
Woody: Sorry. Howdy. My name is Howdy.
[he continues buzzing]
Woody: And this is Andy's room. Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho, okay! Ooh, well, so you want it to do it the hard way, huh?
Buzz: Don't even think about it, cowboy.
Woody: Oh, yeah? Tough guy?
[he pushes Buzz with a mechanical whoosh, and then gasps]
Woman: I'm losing, losing! Oh, what the world, what the world!
Woody: K, K, K! [he puts the mask on with the exclamation point sound]
Buzz: How dare you open an uncharted helment on a spaceman's planet!
[the color bars goes with static]
Aladdin: ♪ One hit ahead of the flock, I think I'll fuck my lock. ♪
[the color bars goes with static again]
Buzz: How dare you open Uncharted on an unchated planet! Well, then we've got to do something.
Bo: What are you doing? Get down from there!
Buzz: I'm gonna teach that boy a lesson.
Woody: Yeah, sure. You go ahead. Melt him with your scary laser.
[Woody presses a button, then the gun fires at Combat Carl with fire with a laser, doing an explosion with a fire, then the camera cuts to Buzz]
Buzz: I stopped him.
[the credits roll up fast, then the globe rolls at Buzz, while Indiana Jones theme plays, then cuts to a static with music playing with "Too many times has that joke been made. Also this song is way over-used. Anyway(s)...", then the lamp hits Buzz while screaming]
Woody: Buzz!
[Buzz falls into the bush, then laughing, then the camera cutting to Woody]
Woody: Buzz! Oh, I'm saved! I'm saved. Andy'll find you here; he'll take us back to the room; and then you can tell everyone that this was all just a big mistake. Huh? Right? [panting] Bud?
Buzz: I just wanted to know that.
[they both tackles while falling, doing explosion, then sliding on the wheel]
Woody: Okay! Come on! You want a piece of steak. Buzz, you gotta come back I...
[engine revving]
Woody: I found a spaceship! Spaceship, Buzz! I found a spaceship, Buzz!
Driver: Come on, man, hurry up! Um, like, the pizzas are getting cold here!
Woody: Spaceship, Buzz! Let's get in the back. No one will see us there.
Buzz: Negative. We'll be much safer in the cockpit.
Woody: Yeah, bu... Buzz! Buzz!
Driver: That's two lefts and a right, huh?
Attendant: Yeah.
Woody: Safer in the cockpit than the cargo bay. What an idiot.
[the rap music plays while the truck goes to Pizza Planet, then Woody hits with an effect, then hitting a window with an effect again, then arriving at Pizza Planet]
Rex: Look, they're home. Will you get out of here!
Woody: Hey, guys! Guys! Hey!
Mr. Potato Head: Son of a bitch! It's Woody.
Hamm: He's in the psycho's bedroom.
Woody: Ha, ha!
Sid: "Extremely dangerous. Keep out of children." Cool!
Buzz: I'm just a toy, a stupid, little, insignificant toy. Why would Andy want me?
Woody: Why would Andy want you? Look at you! You are a toy!
[the rocket flies up]
Woody: Aaah! This is the part where we blow up!
Buzz: All right.
[the rocket explodes, hearing a lion roaring, then music playing with Walt Disney Pictures logo]

SourcesEdit

  • The Evil Dead Official Soundtrack
  • Star Wars Episode IV Soundtrack: Catina Band
  • The Room
  • The Wizard of Oz
  • The saucerer of Agrabah
  • Indiana Jones Theme
  • Kevin MacLeod - Local Forecast - Elevator
  • Childish Gambino - Sweatpants